ILLINOIS SCHOOL OF MUSIC
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Writers
    • Alumni

Welcome

Personal Ponderings on the Illinois Music Experience

Another Working Weekend

5/26/2021

Comments

 
Picture
It’s Saturday, which means I’m back at the Music Ed. Annex. Of course I should be working on chapter two of my dissertation, but after getting back from a walk around the Spurlock Museum and Alice Campbell Alumni Center, I figured I would put it off for a few more minutes and write a blog post. Hold on though, this is a turn from the fun posts and more about the necessity for self-care while working towards a PhD in Music Education. 
Parenting, partnering, studenting - these are all hard things independently, but when they are all happening simultaneously, mental health can seem like a neglected priority, and things that are minor, seem big and the big things don’t seem to matter. See? I told you it wasn’t going to be a fun post. Sometimes it can be hard to pull myself out of the bed that I tossed and turned in all night, wondering if I was a bad mom. Wondering if I was failing my kiddo while trying to balance his school stuff with mine. Wondering if I was failing my wife because I was always stressed about the next set of deadlines that I had to meet. Wondering if I was letting my professors down because my work seemed to be subpar (although they would never say that, I’m just hyper-critical). Wondering if I was letting myself down.

The short answer to all of these questions is, of course, no - but it’s hard to see that when you’re always sitting behind a computer screen, trying to do it all. I hope none of this scared you away, but it’s real life. 

Things are hard. Real life is hard. Mom life is hard. PhD life is hard. I keep hearing though that it is all worth it. That every little challenge along the way is there to remind you that if you aren’t higher on your priority list, all of the relationships in your life will suffer.

It’s a hard concept, putting yourself first, but remember that you are the reason that your kid is here today, the reason that your wife smiled at you at the end of a long day, the reason transgender folks in music education are being brought to the forefront. . .YOU are worth it.
Now that this post turned into more of a therapeutic, self-confidence booster, I mostly want you to remember that YOU ARE WORTH IT. 

Graduate school is a wonderful opportunity and has given me so much, but I need to remember that it doesn’t identify me. I am a person independent from that grad student and I need to give myself the chance to practice self-care by taking walk breaks and turning up some Bon Jovi and singing to my heart’s content. And now… I take a breath, text my wife that I love her, and tell her to hug the kid for me, and get back to work. We’re halfway there.

Miranda Rowland​
Comments
comments powered by Disqus

    Categories

    All
    Admissions
    Advice
    Allerton Park
    Anxiety
    Arias
    Art-song
    Audition
    Bookstore
    Brass
    Campus Life
    Career Prep
    Cello
    Chambana
    Chamber Music
    Chamber Singers
    Champaign-Urbana
    Choir
    Choral Conducting
    Collaborative Piano
    College
    Community
    Competition
    Composer
    Concert
    Conducting
    Confidence
    Covid-19
    Dining
    Dissertation
    Dorm Life
    Education
    Encore
    Entrepreneurship
    Euphonium
    Exercise
    Family
    First Impressions
    First Year
    Flute
    Food
    Freshman
    Friends
    Gender Identity
    Grad School
    Graduate
    Graduate Assistant
    Graduation
    Grateful
    Growth
    Gym
    Health
    Horn
    Housing
    Imposter Syndrome
    Innovation
    In-person
    Inspiration
    Instrument Repair
    International Student
    Internship
    Junior
    Krannert Center
    LGBT
    Live Performance
    Lyric Theatre
    Marching Illini
    Masterclass
    Memorization
    Mental Health
    Mentor
    Mindfulness
    Music +
    Musical Theater
    Music Building
    Music Education
    Music Festival
    Music Technology
    Music Theater
    New Student
    Opera
    Opportunities
    Orchestra
    Out Of State
    Parenting
    Performance
    Performance Anxiety
    Performance Major
    Performance Preparation
    Pizza FM
    Practice
    Process
    Production
    Prospective Students
    Quiet Spaces
    Recital
    Recording
    Reflection
    Rehearsal
    Rehearsals
    Relationships
    Relaxation
    Reset
    Rest
    Restaurants
    RSO
    Scholar
    Self Care
    Self-Care
    Self-Discovery
    Senior
    Show
    Social Justice
    Soloist
    Stress
    Student Life
    Student Teaching
    Studio Class
    Study
    Summer
    Support
    Technique
    Time Management
    Tips And Tricks
    Tools For Success
    Trombone
    Trumpet
    Tuba
    Undegraduate
    Undergraduate
    Violin
    Virtual Concert
    Voice
    Vote
    Wellness
    Women's Glee Club
    Woodwind
    Work
    Work Space

    Archives

    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.
  • Home
  • Blog
  • About
  • Writers
    • Alumni