My undergraduate years were a very difficult time for me. The transition from high school to college is already a difficult one; you have to learn how to live on your own, how you fare in social situations, what your boundaries are, and on top of that, go to your classes and do well in them. College is not just about what grades you get; it’s a full experience on its own with a lot of personal components to it. I struggled with making friends at my last institution, and the pandemic made it a lot worse to deal with. Over this past winter break, I was doing a lot of introspection, and I realized that I’m still feeling the effects of those hardships today. I wasn’t able to start the healing process during my four years as an undergraduate student because I was still experiencing those hardships every day. Now that I’m away from that environment, I’m able to fully process what happened to me. One goal I have for my time here in graduate school is to go for as many opportunities as I can to grow into the person I’d like to be. This semester, I’m taking voice lessons for the first time and I joined the Hip Hop Collective (HHC). Social situations are tough for me; I’ve been in many situations where I was not valued for who I was, and I stutter, so talking to new people is always stressful for me. And even though the first meeting of HHC was very scary for me, there is a lot I’d like to learn from being in that group. There’s opportunities for learning how to edit videos, collaborate with other musicians, learn how to mix and master music, etc. I want to learn all of these skills, but it can be hard to stay present in large groups of people.
My only advice to anyone experiencing a similar struggle is to go for your goals despite the fears you may have. It will be hard; it may be way outside of your comfort zone, but do it anyway! You never know what will happen; it might be a great experience. And if it happens to be something you don’t enjoy, that’s okay too; you learned what you are comfortable with, and you can move on knowing a little more about yourself. Na’ilah Ali |
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February 2023
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